Tell the story of a notable experience with discipline, punishment, or being rewarded—in a kinky way or not.
We all put structures in place to help us make decisions better and faster. Think of a few unspoken “rules” you have that help you live your life or in your relationship. For example, “I don’t wear blue T-shirts with blue jeans, ” “I don’t drink coffee after 3PM,” “I do not hit my partner when I’m actually angry with them,” “I don’t eat meat,” “I take out the trash, my partner does the dishes.” List at least 5.
Have you previously or do you currently have a disciplinary D/s dynamic in your relationship(s)? What are some of your favorite rules that you have followed, or created? What rules have been the most challenging?
Have your D/s relationships incorporated consequences for behavior? What kind of negative consequences, or punishments have you experienced or enforced? What kind of positive reinforcement have you experienced or enforced?
How easy is it for you to obey rules once they are put in place? What are the challenges around following the rules?
How easy is it for you to pay attention rules once that you put in place? What are the challenges around tracking the rules?
Is it easier when someone else (like, for example, your Dominant; or a coach, teacher, or mentor) puts a rule in place for you? Or is it easier when you put rules in place for yourself?
Are you able to follow rules that you put in place for yourself? Do you make rules for yourself related to your dominance or dynamic?
Have you been in a relationship where the rules, obedience, punishment, or discipline have gone badly? What happened? What patterns or habits were at play?
Describe a fantasy about discipline or a punishment scene in filthy detail. (Or draw some stills from the scene, or record an mp3 of some of the dialogue ...)
Do you imagine the above scenario would be pleasurable in real life, or only as a fantasy?
Does the idea of being controlled 24/7 — or controlling someone 24/7 — with rules and protocols appeal to you? Why do you think that is (or isn’t)? Do you have any experience with this?
What relationship (if any) do you see between power dynamics and discipline? Does discipline support your power dynamic, or does your power dynamic support your discipline? What is the hierarchy or structure?
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